20 things I've learnt in 20 years

So, Wednesday the 28th of February was my 20th birthday. Now, I know I'm still young but not being in my 'teens' anymore and being categorised as being in my 'twenties' is something I'm really scared about for many reasons and maybe I'll write a post on what I want to achieve in my 20's in the future however for now, this is 20 things I've learnt in 20 years. Enjoy!

1. You do not owe anybody anything. This is something I struggled with a lot, feeling like I always had to do everything for everyone constantly, never putting myself first and it really put me in a bad place, so just keep that in mind if you're a people pleaser like me.

2. Fruit and vegetables are as important as everyone says. So from the age of 14-18 I ate as much rubbish as I could and even though my mum would force some fruit and veg down me every now and then, eating so badly definitely took it's toll so if I can pass on any message it's always eat your fruit and veg, I promise it can taste nice.

3. You will find other people. I stayed in a lot of toxic friendships and an extremely toxic relationship because I felt like if I didn't have those people I would have no one, that really wasn't the case. Even if it meant I felt quite lonely for a short while, 4 years later, I have an amazing boyfriend and amazing friends and I wish I'd let myself let go of those people earlier on.

4. Wear whatever you want. Life is short and I was one of those people who always wore things in my comfort zone, that covered me up and blended me into the crowd, however now, I am being so much more adventurous with my clothes and wearing things I always wanted to and I am so much more confident and happy.

5. Never hold yourself back due to fear. This was a tough one for me because I struggled incredibly with anxiety for about 2 and a half years but generally I was always that wary person who would just say no because it was easier. People then had this perception of me, even when I said I was off to university it was said to my face that I wouldn't see it through, I would come home. And I haven't. I've stuck it out and had the best time even with little bits of anxiety building up in the background I used my CBT techniques and pushed through and I am infinitely happier.

6. Relationships are hard. I always thought when I found someone I got on so well with and fell in love with it wouldn't be hard but oh wow I was wrong. They take a lot of work, there are definitely inevitable hard times but if you can push through them you come out so much healthier and stronger.

7. Do not take yourself too seriously. Have fun, let go and make the most of opportunities you have.

8. Please do not listen to fad diet trends and body bashing magazines. From a young age I was reading all the celeb gossip magazines and I learnt so many unhealthy ways of living and perceptions of body image that I still have to try and ignore today, if you haven't yet please don't bother with them, which is a bold statement for someone who is getting into journalism, editing and writing however something I feel very strongly about.

9. Always be the bigger person. This is something my mum would always tell me to do when I was younger and I hated it, if I was arguing with someone or someone had said something mean I wanted to retaliate but she would always talk to me and tell me it's better not to. However, now it's made me understand how important it is, it makes you feel better in the long run.

10. Stand up for yourself. This is different to retaliating as I mentioned in number 9, this is making sure you don't let people walk over you or treat you badly, when this happens standing up for yourself doesn't mean starting an argument it means moving on or talking to the person about it calmly, I promise it helps you feel better than ending up in a huge argument. Also, as you get older this is something you have to learn to do, people won't do it for you and it is so important that you do stand up for yourself and leading into number 11...

11. Don't let anyone use you or take you for granted. There are so many things that make you a good person don't let people take advantage of those. If you don't want to do something don't do it.

12. It's ok to spend time on your phone or laptop. It's become a topic in our society that technology is now the worst thing for us, but if it wasn't for technology I wouldn't have my blog, have achieved as many things as I have or been part of such a great community.

13. It's ok to have a lazy day. If you wanna stay in your pyjamas, watch films and eat all day, do it. I promise you won't regret it and it makes you more productive overall because you've given yourself time off!

14. Put yourself first. This links in with a lot of the other things I've listed but to me is the most important. This is your life and you can decide what you do, it is so unbelievably hard to do it sometimes and other times it's not physically possible but if it is wherever you can put yourself first because otherwise you'll notice you're living for other people who put themselves first and not for yourself.

15. Always try to be organised and lists are a gift from God. Life can get stressful, whether it's school, uni or work and being organised is the biggest stress reliever. I recommend everyone has a diary, I take mine everywhere and write in everything I am doing and it is the best thing I've ever done. Also lists are incredible, if it's a to-do list when you manage to tick everything off you feel great and if it's a shopping list it just means you won't forget anything.

16. You are allowed to say no. This is a running joke between me and my parents because this is something I definitely inherited from them, the inability to say no to anything. However we're all trying to overcome this or else you end up in many situations you don't want to be in such as a 9 hour overtime shift on your only day off (guilty).

17. Let go of one sided relationships. This is normally the case in friendships more than anything but it is so tiring constantly trying to put effort in if they don't do the same for you, it is sad if when you stop doing this the friendship ends however it will make you feel happier and a lot less exhausted in the long run.

18. Save your money. If for any reason something goes terribly wrong in life having savings are so important. There have been so many times I have had to fall back on my savings if I haven't been paid as much as I expected or if I have to unexpectedly pay some money out I cannot stress enough how much easier your life will be and even if you only put in £10 a month you still have £120 at the end of the year incase you need it.

19. Have goals. No matter how big or small goals keep you going, they are something to strive towards and always keep me working hard.

20. Even though you are no longer a teenager you don't have to 'grow up'. Yes things get more serious in life generally, but you can still have fun, you can still go out, have silly jokes and watch Disney movies. (I'm already planning on spending my 21st in Disneyland Paris, the least grown up thing I could do) If you don't feel any older why should you have to act it!